Sunday, November 26, 2006 @ 12:30 PM
Didn't go to work today. Got sick. Flu and sorethroat. ): I hate sorethroats.
Was browsing through the net, and found out a little something of a very dear person to me.
I felt so sad now.
She's changed so much. She was once such a lovely person with such a great heart for God and His people. No longer was she the girl I knew. She's changed so much, it struck me hard when I realised how bad the situation she was in.
She seem to enjoy her life now. Drinking. Loitering. All those stuffs she found was meaningless, she did them all, and had been doing them a lot.
Was it me who brought her to where she is now? Was it me? Did I not shower enough care and concern while I was still her careleader? Had I given her too much stress when the only coreteam members were she and me? Was it all me?
God, is it because of me?
No. It is not. It's not me.
So why is this? I really pray. My heart is so burdened for the lost ones. Those who never knew Him, those who knew Him, and those who are in dilema about His truths. I feel that twist in my heart. That tight squeeze.
I miss her. I wish I could help her. Help them. Oh God, I miss them.
You brought me to God, and God changed me. Won't you come back? You were such a shy person, who looked down on herself, thinking she's unable to do anything for God at all. The truth is you were so dear to me and so many peopl, come back already. You had always had a soft spot for God, but because of circumstance, you left. Come back. You lied to me. Used me. Cheated on me. It may not be the entire truth, but that's how I felt. But I still love you, and I still miss you. I really hope you would come to the Lord and be changed. I really want to see you change. It's still the same- I'm still waiting. And you. You're a liar. That's what your friends address you as. And I know very well that you have the tendency to lie- but I believed your heart for God was true. Don't be influenced by them, please. Come back, please. And you- the one whom I trust, the one whom I went through thick and thin together- we struggled together so much when we were the only coreteams in the group. You left and changed. Why? Is your life now really that meaningful? Are you really happy? God loves you. Me too.
I miss you people. I love ya all. I'll be waiting. I will, as God does.
Jesus, my heart cries out not just for those who left- but for those who didn't know you as well.